Haircuts Only a Soccer Fan will Love (23 pics)

June 8, 2014 / Bronaldo / Europe, Liga MX, Local, MLS, World Cup

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Especially if the guy with the haircut is on your team. If not, he looks like a Flock of Seagulls cover band member from Cambodia. These players won’t be getting a phone call from Head & Shoulders to do a commercial anytime soon.

Looks like Demolition man and Gremlins had a kid.

The Cheetos Afrohawk.

Lead singer of the Spin Doctors, Chris Barron, dressed as Alexi Lalas for Halloween.

Snoop Dogg and Kid from Kid n Play had a child.

Yes, the carpet does match the drapes.

Do you want to comb over and shag baby?!

C’mon baby, you already know how I will look like in the morning.

They told me i can be anything, so i got a stupid haircut.

Hello??.. Is it Higuita you’re looking for?

OK gang, you know the rules, no humping, no licking, no sniffing hineys. – Dumb n Dumber

Holy Sh*t! There’s a tarantula on your hea….nevermind.

Man! im so hungover! At least I was able to wash off all the dicks drawn on my face.

I can’t hear you with this awesome party happening in the back.

We’re not gonna take it!!

The look on your face when you have every hairstyle possible on your head.

I cut my hair using a darth vader helmet.

“A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths” – Steven Wright

I’m half black and half white

Domer eclipse

i feel he should be holding a tennis racket.

I just….I…I don’t even know…

The weight of my hair has crushed my neck

Who’s the real slim shady?

Hair, soccer

Grandpa Memo’s Exhibition of Soccer Skills (video)

June 7, 2014 / Bronaldo / Europe, Liga MX, MLS, World Cup

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Scooby Doo and the gang would have been fooled by the master make up artists from the movie Bad Grandpa that transformed Soccer Freestyle World Champion Sean Garnier into an aging senior citizen named “Abuelo Memo”. But Garnier didn’t want to scare off the kids to steal the treasure from old man Peterson. He wanted to blow their minds with his paralyzing foot work. And he would’ve got away with it if it wasn’t for you meddling kids.

freestyle, Scooby doo, sean garnier

I Forgot How to Soccer (18 pics)

June 6, 2014 / Bronaldo / Europe, Liga MX, MLS, World Cup

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fail, forgot how to, frogmen, meme, soccer

Lights. Camera. Get the fuck outta here.

May 29, 2014 / Rasta Farinho / Europe

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So turns out that the guy, and the reason my chick watches soccer with me, Cristiano Ronaldo had it planned all along. I’m talking about the celebration that had every chicken head cackling this past weekend.

CR7 was believed to be hamming it up for a movie titled Ronaldo, the Movie. Thank god it sounds documentary-like. Lord knows we don’t need another “actor” on our silver screens. Cristiano Ronaldo in a movie is like knowing your parents fuck- you know it’s going to happen, but you don’t want to see it.

bad actor, bad movie, celebration, Champions League Final, Cristiano Ronaldo

Manchester United Owner Dead at Age 86

May 29, 2014 / Bronaldo / Europe, Liga MX

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Malcolm Glazer, owner of many things (some shiny some businessisy) including one of the most infamous sports franchises in the world Manchester United F.C passed away today at the age of 86. Coincidentally, loyal United supporters wanted to 86 him from the team back in the mid 2000’s during his bid for total control of the club. He succeeded, seems to me a shortly thereafter signed sponsorship deal with AIG might have helped “insure” the deal, and has had quite a successful streak during that time. But now, with his children at the helm will they fall into the fate the Lakers have? or will they continue the great tradition of winning. Say what you will, a moment of silence for a life lost.

86, aig, dead, lakers, manchester united, owner

ESPN Anchor Epic Fail on Champions League Futbol Segment

May 28, 2014 / Bronaldo / Europe

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cristiano-ronaldo-675-and-diego-costa-in-cup-final-between-real-madrid-and-atletico-madrid-in-2013

The Entertainment & Sports Programming Network (ESPN) apparently stands for Except Soccer Programming Network, amirite?. Ok not as funny. But as much as I don’t know about comedy, Lisa Kerney does not know about futbol. As evidenced by this YouTube clip after the 4 to 1 win by Real Madrid over their cross town rivals Atletico Madrid. Sounds like she’s trying to place an order at Alberto’s.

champions league, espn, fail, lisa kerney

Futbol’s Super Bowl

May 24, 2014 / Rasta Farinho / Europe

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One of Pele Lepew’s missions is to help strengthen soccer knowledge in the United States. Today’s lesson begins with Europe’s biggest match of the year. It involves two Spanish teams: Real Madrid and its same city rival Atletico Madrid. It’s like pairing the Los Angeles Lakers vs the Clippers. Don’t care? Ok. How about it’s like having two long-legged lesbians scissoring it out for their favorite toy. Glad you’re back. This tourney begins in August- when Europe’s domestic’s leagues start- and concludes in May (you guessed it, after the league’s end). To some clubs, it’s a trophy more coveted than the lost ark was to Indiana Jones. To others, say Real Madrid, this is merely another attempt for its tenth title. Each year, top finishers in their respective leagues qualify for the grand tournament and have to endure not only their domestic journey for hardware, but maintain a healthy squad competitive enough to last through the marathon that is the Champions League. Tough stuff. Just ask these two.

Athletico Madrid, Real Madrid, UEFA Champions League Final

Messi and Barcelona Agree to Contract Extension, Fans Exhale

May 16, 2014 / Rasta Farinho / Europe

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Arguably one of the best soccer players ever has reached an agreement to become the highest paid soccer player in the world. And as we do our research (i.e google highest paid athletes in the world) he may be atop of the list of highest paid athletes in the world (not including endorsements) before the ink has dried. Although the contract will not likely be signed before the world cup, fans can rejoice at retaining Messi like an overly jealous and obsessive wife a while longer, and haters can well, hate. No details have been disclosed yet but the contract is said to be around the €20 million per year, thats around $27.41 million in real money (real money = the almighty dollar). While undoubtedly well deserved, he has gone through 7 different contract agreements in his 9 years with the club (refer to Marca.com for the contract timeline). Messi said he wanted to retire with the Barcelona FC, and I’m sure the club and its fans want him to retire there also.

Barcelona, contract extension, La Liga, Messi

Madrid must rest Ronaldo as title hopes evaporate

May 10, 2014 / roblesmedia / Europe

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La Liga looks lost now for Real Madrid. Carlo Ancelotti’s men would be joint-top of the table if they had beaten Valencia and Valladolid over the last four days, but back-to-back draws have left them lagging behind – and it’s time to look towards the Champions League instead.

Madrid were without Gareth Bale at Zorrilla and lost Cristiano Ronaldo to injury with muscle fatigue after eight minutes. Despite going ahead through Sergio Ramos’ free kick, a late leveller from Humberto Osorio denied the Blancos victory and has seemingly put paid to their hopes of claiming the title, too. Indeed, a win for Atletico Madrid at home to Malaga on Sunday will mean Madrid can’t be champions this term.

Messi urges Barca to prevent Atletico title party

May 9, 2014 / roblesmedia / Europe

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Barca seemed all but out of the title race after conceding a last-minute equaliser to draw 2-2 at home to relegation-threatened Getafe last weekend.

However, leaders Atletico Madrid subsequently lost 2-0 away at Levante, whilst Real Madrid have drawn twice against Valencia and Valladolid in the past week to leave them in third place, four points adrift of Atletico with just two games to play.

Barcelona remain three points adrift of Diego Simeone’s men themselves, but will win the league if they win their two remaining games away to Elche on Sunday and then when Atletico visit the Camp Nou on the final weekend of the season.

“We are in a better position today than we were a few weeks ago,” said Messi.